Monday, April 12, 2010

Mama, am I beautiful?

This is something my 4 yr old daughter asks me on a daily basis. I always reply with "Yes, of course you are!" I am sad that she asks me this question so often. What has happened to her that made her doubt her beauty at such a young age? Is it because she watches too many "Princess" movies? Has someone at her preschool told her she was ugly? Did I do a bad thing by letting we watch me put on makeup? Or is it just a normal phase for a little girl to go through at this time?

She has been on a dress wearing kick for about 3 months now. She won't wear anything else but a dress and tights, and if I am lucky, I can convince her to wear a long sleeved shirt underneath. We have fought over this many times. And she broke my heart when she said, "If I don't wear a dress, I will not be beautiful!!" With tears in her eyes, I told her she could wear her dress. And then I sat her down and explained that she is beautiful not matter what she wears. What else can I do?

What happens when she is 13 and is worried about her body image? How can I balance telling she is beautiful every day and make sure she doesn't become selfish or too self involved?

I can only hope that it is a phase. I can only reassure her every day that she is beautiful. Because I believe with all of my heart, that she is.


  1. It's hard to instill worth in girls, when society is so superficial and wrapped up in how they look. There is a great song out now that plays on Way FM telling girls they are beautiful because they are made unique by God, not because of how they look. It is a struggle that every girl goes through, and as a mother I can see how it breaks your heart.

  2. I read a great book on this called, "So sexy so soon". I highly recommend it for anyone with a daughter. Society does put so much emphasis on outward appearance. With that said, little girls do go through dress phases, and wanting to be a princess phases, and wanting to wear their choice not yours, so don't be too hard on yourself. Good job being mindful of this, she will tell you if something has been said to her to make her feel less than beautiful. One thing the book recommends for parents to do is ask her what she thinks or why she thinks that, so she knows it's okay to share with you if she's feeling insecure. Don't let her know it worries you that she asks but get her to share with you as much as you can so you can figure how that little brain is working...If you keep loving her and believing in her as you do, she will become confident in her inner and outer beauty.

  3. Thank you Jenny. I will have to read that book.