to prove that I love them. I love them more than ANYTHING in this world. But I don't need to tell you that, right? I sometimes feel guilty when I tell my husband that I need to get out of the house because I have been home ALL DAY with my children.
I sometimes feel guilty when another mother asks to get together, but it has to be during the day so all of the kids can be together, and I reply with "Maybe some other time". I don't say no every time I am asked. I actually say yes most of the time. I LOVE to see my kids play with others and I really do enjoy company, even if we don't get to speak to each other much during play time.
I REALLY feel guilty when I ask another mother to get together for dinner and drinks and I get the "blank stare" from them. Like, they look at me with this "how dare you want to be away from your children for more than 5 mins" look. I will note that this look has not come from any of my established friends. Most of the "looks" have come from moms that I haven't spoke to since receiving said "looks". Yes, I want to talk about other things than my kids. I want to talk about politics, health, a good book and maybe a little gossip. That is not a bad thing!
A part of me gets what others may think. But, I also believe that there are A LOT of mama's out there that feel the same way I do. I need a break sometimes. All good parents deserve a break. Yes, I believe I am a good parent. Just because I want to get out and have some fun does not, by any means, mean that I don't love or want to be around my kids. It just means that I would like to keep my sanity. Being a stay at home mom is a lot of work. I have 3 kids under the age of 5 years. It is a full time job. I am not saying moms that work outside of the home don't work just as hard, because they do. And they deserve a break too.
Now, with that being said, I certainly hope my mama friends can understand where I am coming from. I hope :) And, if you need a break, let me know! I need one too.
Jess, a break makes you a better mom, even when you don't know that you need it, and ESPECIALLY when you know that you do. You were a person before you were a mother, and in the early years it's hard to find time to nurture "who" you are. That's okay, but if a mom out there is looking at you like they've never needed a break, they are totally lying. The best moms I know, need a break, and I definitely include you in that group. If more people didn't feel guilty about saying that our loud, more people wouldn't feel guilty! :)
ReplyDeleteEvery mother deserves time away! I NEED time away to be a better mother. I can relate on every level and those mom's who look at you like you are crazy for wanting to have some "adult" time, are INSANE!! You are a great mom, and needing to go out for a drink and talk about other things than kids....is not only normal but necessary!! Mom's should never feel guilty for needing their own time away from children.
ReplyDeleteWord :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Sarah. Wish I was there - or you were here! I really enjoyed meeting you and as I tip my glass of red wine tonight, I think I hear you loud and clear. Hope all is well, if I can get it together, I'll try to say hi more often.
ReplyDeleteWow, I didn't know you were such a bad mom. JUST KIDDING! I'll tell you that the whole living for your kids thing seems to shift as they get older. Probably because they're able to do more for themselves so moms are forced to do something for themselves as well...Regardless, this post does not make you a bad mom; it makes you human...and currently, I'm only accepting human moms as friends.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
~Olivia